Another weight loss entry :)

Abusing the balance this morning made me get the result "95.5 kg" :). I am really, really happy. Remember my start weight? That*s the point :D.

And my granny* didn*t notice that. But do I care? This time I won*t ... (She often makes strange remarks about my body, and I should be used to it by now.) I remember the last time I did care about that I stopped the entire diet; this time I will continue doing so.

Once again she talked to my mum* about my disease. I ... cannot say how much I hate that. "It is all her father's fault that she turned out to be ill!" and whatnot. =o= First of all, I AM NOT ILL. Even people sharing this fate have told me I am not. Secondly, why should it be my father's fault?! When I was diagnosed with schizophrenic psychosis I hadn*t seen him for quite awhile.

... But should I go around and tell everyone "whose fault" it is? Guess! It is entirely mine ... Solely mine. I said I was like that because I wanted to shelter another person. Who wouldn*t do that?! And in the end, it all turned out to be very real what I went through, and this is probably the worst thing of it all ...

Je cherche une âme qui pourra m*aider ...

Goth, I love this song ("Désenchantée" by Mylène Farmer ...).

I didn*t find the hair dye so far, but I feel like I lost a billion kilos of weight so far :). Maybe it is not that much. I told Meian* that I will use the balance tomorrow, and then we*ll see ^^.

I want to create a list of things I will do whenever I lost five more kilos. To keep me going ... Mh! Hopefully I will do those things for real then :D. I will post the list later most likely. Need to think about the goals and so on.

And I might create an account with a certain page. Need to think this over before; maybe I will do so a little later or something ...

(And the pain started again ;___; ...)

To-do-list for the upcoming week :)

* Buy hair dye (I finally found some product to dye my hair with ^^)
* Practice the guitar
* Read at least until chapter 19 of "Effi Briest" (I am currently reading the sixth or seventh chapter ... Dunno .___.! -- But luckily the chapters aren*t that long!)
* Try to find some books on music therapy on a certain homepage
* Write down what happened in the 15th chapter of "Effi Briest", and judge the niceness of the characters throughout the first 19 chapters .___.
* Write some more interpretations (astrology-wise)
* Weigh myself (I don*t feel like I lost weight today :( ...)
* Sing!
* Continue taking the medication I got from the doctor
* Continue watching the second season of Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon :D
(...)

I guess that*s that for now.

Maybe I am just bored ... "^^" Guess that this was the reason for this post ... Guess I will either continue reading "Effi Briest" now, orrr I will continue watching Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon XD ... Mmh. Do you really need to know my decision? ^_^ (I guess I will do both in a certain way :D!)


** Current Music : * Siouxsie And The Banshees *-* Spellbound * **

Doc :) ... & some thoughts about aggressive people.

I don*t want to tell many details about me going to the doctor, but I can say it wasn*t as bad as I expected. At least it*s "just" an infection which can be healed easily. I am taking medication for that from today on :). In two weeks, I have got another appointment, and they took a blood sample ... Now my arm hurts but the rest is okay. It maybe was an awkward situation, but no comment on that. The doctor is very nice, too ^^.

Mmh. What really made me angry today was some guys on the bus this evening when we went home. They were a "little bit" drunk, and yelled some things I didn*t understand, and started meowing for whatever reason and whatnot. They were so annoying. Anyways, they were in the back of the bus, so I didn*t care ... HOWEVER, they must have attacked two people in the back of the bus. After the guys got out, there were two man, a smaller one and a taller one, who got out of the bus at the next bus stop. I think they were talking in sign language ... But I could be wrong.

Just one thing : I hate it when youths (as in this case, but I am not only talking about youths!) who obviously drank alcohol and who hang around with their friends to be "stronger" than others, start attacking other people ... AND ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ARE HANDICAPPED!! And even if they weren*t, it*s still something one mustn*t do. Is it too much to expect other people to be amicable, as well as intelligent?! Sorry, but this kind of the behaviour the guys showed (the ones who were drunk and who yelled and so on) doesn*t show ANY of these things.

You aren*t alone on this planet - LUCKILY! Be happy that it is this way, because otherwise you wouldn*t even dare to be as destructive as you were this evening ... I have nothing against alcohol, as long as people can HANDLE it. And I have nothing against being with your friends as long as people know that this is not a reason to attack random people around them. What is the point of all this behaviour anyways?!

"Ah, I am from a ghetto!" or "Ah, I am the ghetto king/queen/sandwich of doom/whatever!" ... If people didn*t behave this way, they would certainly come out of this surrounding. And if people didn*t behave like this in the first place, these places would certainly be no "ghettos", maybe only areas where people live that haven*t been as lucky as others.

I am certainly not an angel, but at least I have more ability of thinking about others as well as myself than those guys. And I just hate this kind of behaviour, and aggressiveness in general.

I hope that the two men didn*t get hurt in any bad way, though. If they talked in sign language, maybe they didn*t hear them. *sigh*

How long, how long will I slide?

Did I ever mention I love the video for "Otherside" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers? :) Ah well. I do :D.

I don*t feel good right now. Reason is I have to go to the doctor today :( ... DO NOT WANT!

I had a dream I don*t remember much of. And I don*t want to remember it either. So I won*t write it down, haha (Why am I writing *THIS* down then?) ...

Once again, it needs to be said that I miss certain people -____-.

Maybe I will do some interpretations again today. But ... Okay. Let*s go~ .___.!

Wirst du mir vergeben, wenn ich dich anrege?

Good evening!

I am back from my first day at school this week. We got back our geography tests, and guess what my result was ... I couldn*t believe it myself *cause it was *rataplan* 13 points (A-). That*s 13 more than I expected *grin*. Okay, I didn*t think I*d get 0 points, but I also didn*t expect 13, so ... Mmmh.

I wonder, however, what subject I should choose as my 3rd subject (since I am doing English, German, and math in my final exams) ... Sociology? Geography? I don*t know. ;_-_; I wonder what I will get in P. E., too. I guess it won*t be that good. :( But I hope it will be better than 5 points (D). Or at least better than 4 ... As for the other subjects ... No problem so far.

However, I feel sorry for everybody who didn*t get grades that were as good as mine, which now sounds a bit arrogant, but actually, I wish I wouldn*t be THAT good. (I still sound arrogant ... Ah well. Cannot change this :P.) I know that I should continue working hard for my test, and maybe this time, I should start learning earlier ... Not on the last day, that is.

Or else, I wish everybody was this good. Everybody deserves a chance in my holy opinion, and since I know what some of those people want to do after they leave school, I of course hope they will reach their aims and such. REALLY.

Besides that, I have got an appointment tomorrow. With one of my doctors :). I need to write some e*mails, too. I just don*t feel at all like wanting to read those that need to be answered right now. Hm.

As for the interpretations ... I have been doing some research work on a certain Arabic Part, haha. Won*t tell you which one, since it is kind of embarrassing XD. I am just nosy and enthusiastic about Arabic Parts. :D As for some parts, I don*t even want to know them, but as for the rest ... It*s kind of interesting.

~ Rina