Strange doriimu I had last night Oô :
Last night I had a strange dream that I only remember some scenes of. One of them I bent down, my back being naked. My German teacher, Mr H*, ate one of my anti-psychotics (Seroquel), and spat it out onto my back. It looked like a citron then Oô. But it was parted in the middle.
Then I also dreamed that Közi released a new DVD. Don*t remember much about it, but I was happy :).
I looked up some of the symbols of the first dream, since it was somewhat strange ... I didn*t talk to my German teacher much, and I certainly didn*t spit anything, nor did I think about it, and I don*t know where the citron comes from either.
Mh. So the citron stands for anger, deception, and so on. My German teacher really was a bit pissed off because I didn*t do my homework *lalalaaa* ... XD Maybe it also stands for my own anger and deception. This would also explain why it was parted in the middle : I didn*t feel angry recently, even though some people might if they were in my situation. I also remember I once spat my medication out; it*s just coming back to my mind but that was several years ago. :(
Spitting something out, as one of my former friends once told me, might mean that I don*t see any sense in this. Maybe Mr H* thinks the same thing?? Oô And, oh, the back ... Since I literally SAW it (like I was standing on my right), this is a plus, because if a back plays a special role in the dream, it means "Get to know your more intimate points of your personality!" Because I saw it this means that I might have found them (recently).
Deutung.com also says that being spat on means success and luck (who wouldn*t have thought this now :P?!) ... I hope so :). Aaand ... Being naked means "wanting to be recognized for the real self". Which is sort of true ... I want others to like me the way I am. Because I often find people telling me that I should change my character traits ... I know some of them point to a mental illness, but on the other hand ... It*s still me. Why should I change this?! Who would be worth this change?! ONLY ME!! And as long as I feel good with myself, I don*t want to change anything ...
I don*t know; this is a lot of information, but if anyone happens to google all the words because they had EXACTLY the same dream, well, here you*ll find your information!!
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Donnerstag, 22. Januar 2009
Montag, 19. Januar 2009
The love ... and the laziness .___.
I still haven*t continued reading "Effi Briest". Shame on me!! *hides* *seeks* *közis* XDD
Which now leads me to the next topic : THE LOVE :D. I am currently listening to Közi*s music again ... It has been awhile since I listened to it last time - officially, at least. I cannot say how much I love his music ... And I have got to say : Minako has got a nice voice (currently listening to "Kaikou"). If only I know what they were singing/saying in this song ... Mmmf!! Okay, I understand "Izayoi no tsuki" when Közi starts speaking. But that is that.
Ah yeah. We got our English marks today :] ... *dances around* I will probably tell you when I finally hold the school report in my hands. But I can say : I am very, very happy about my mark!! ^.^ My teacher asked me some questions after she told me about it, whether I want to work in a field which enables me to speak English more or something. I told her I want to go abroad. No lie :). Same goes for the field I*d love to work in; I said I want to do something with music, didn*t want to mention the music therapy stuff now, but ... Oh well. She seemed a bit surprised, asking me whether I play an instrument. Which I can say I do. ^^
Mmh ... What else? I learned something important today, even though nobody told me or so. It was a special on TV about a clairvoyant woman and the fact she helped a young woman and her brother to search for their father, who maybe died because of the tsunami several years ago. (Was it in Sri Lanka? I don*t know, really, for the reason I was very ill during this time, or at least hospitalized ...) It was really awful; she tried to keep her face, but nobody knows whether she was just following an illusion or whatever. She even tried to "talk" to the father. By "talk", I guess you know what I mean. I can imagine her situation, but also that of the siblings ... And there are people saying that one shouldn*t say anything about death e. g. when doing tarot readings. Maybe it is the same with helping people out of a situation ... Or at least, it always seems to me that, whenever a psychic person (I don*t even doubt they have certain gifts!) gets money for using their senses, it turns out to be a complete disaster.
Anyways, I don*t want to take money for doing e. g. tarot readings, or for whatever else I might do for others in my future. Which is a reason why I couldn*t work in this field ... I would fear losing my abilities because of the constant use of them and whatnot. I don*t want to end up this way. And as for death questions -- not for me. I remember I once wanted to know how a certain person, a former friend of mine, was, and even though I didn*t know how certain things worked those days, I did what my heart told me ... And felt nothing but a "hole". It was really a hollow feeling, something was missing. Later I was told she died. It was really a strange situation.
What is also strange is that, whenever I think back of this event, I see a part of our old house infront of me, but it has nothing to do with that. I just always connect this event with this part of our old house, that I didn*t even live in anymore those days.
When it comes to things like that, it is such a fragile topic ... And I hope nobody blames anyone for the fact they didn*t find the father in the end. I loved the end of the episode, though : they put a picture of him into some kind of bowl, and they said that they hope just the best for the father, no matter where he is right now.
And now I am freezing. Need to get up early tomorrow. ~__~
Much love!!
Which now leads me to the next topic : THE LOVE :D. I am currently listening to Közi*s music again ... It has been awhile since I listened to it last time - officially, at least. I cannot say how much I love his music ... And I have got to say : Minako has got a nice voice (currently listening to "Kaikou"). If only I know what they were singing/saying in this song ... Mmmf!! Okay, I understand "Izayoi no tsuki" when Közi starts speaking. But that is that.
Ah yeah. We got our English marks today :] ... *dances around* I will probably tell you when I finally hold the school report in my hands. But I can say : I am very, very happy about my mark!! ^.^ My teacher asked me some questions after she told me about it, whether I want to work in a field which enables me to speak English more or something. I told her I want to go abroad. No lie :). Same goes for the field I*d love to work in; I said I want to do something with music, didn*t want to mention the music therapy stuff now, but ... Oh well. She seemed a bit surprised, asking me whether I play an instrument. Which I can say I do. ^^
Mmh ... What else? I learned something important today, even though nobody told me or so. It was a special on TV about a clairvoyant woman and the fact she helped a young woman and her brother to search for their father, who maybe died because of the tsunami several years ago. (Was it in Sri Lanka? I don*t know, really, for the reason I was very ill during this time, or at least hospitalized ...) It was really awful; she tried to keep her face, but nobody knows whether she was just following an illusion or whatever. She even tried to "talk" to the father. By "talk", I guess you know what I mean. I can imagine her situation, but also that of the siblings ... And there are people saying that one shouldn*t say anything about death e. g. when doing tarot readings. Maybe it is the same with helping people out of a situation ... Or at least, it always seems to me that, whenever a psychic person (I don*t even doubt they have certain gifts!) gets money for using their senses, it turns out to be a complete disaster.
Anyways, I don*t want to take money for doing e. g. tarot readings, or for whatever else I might do for others in my future. Which is a reason why I couldn*t work in this field ... I would fear losing my abilities because of the constant use of them and whatnot. I don*t want to end up this way. And as for death questions -- not for me. I remember I once wanted to know how a certain person, a former friend of mine, was, and even though I didn*t know how certain things worked those days, I did what my heart told me ... And felt nothing but a "hole". It was really a hollow feeling, something was missing. Later I was told she died. It was really a strange situation.
What is also strange is that, whenever I think back of this event, I see a part of our old house infront of me, but it has nothing to do with that. I just always connect this event with this part of our old house, that I didn*t even live in anymore those days.
When it comes to things like that, it is such a fragile topic ... And I hope nobody blames anyone for the fact they didn*t find the father in the end. I loved the end of the episode, though : they put a picture of him into some kind of bowl, and they said that they hope just the best for the father, no matter where he is right now.
And now I am freezing. Need to get up early tomorrow. ~__~
Much love!!
La musique ...
I found a nice page yesterday which you have to pay for ... At least if you want to use all the features. However, a "basic account" there is free. Downside? You have to give them your postal adress, and I currently wonder why ... It is a page where you can find musicians who are looking for bands or single band members, but who also would play only from time to time. I think that it would be a good way of getting over my boredom, my solitude, whatever. Yeah, I must sound really depressive now :P.
Whatever. I guess that, even if I found somebody on this page, I wouldn*t continue staying in contact with them. Which is my own fault, I know. The last time I was looking for band members sort of made me angry and feel even more lonely, or laughed at. I think nobody deserves being treated this way. On the other hand, I*d need a room, some space, to play with others. PLUS : Jam Sessions? This sounds like "We don*t want any 'beginners' to play with us!" ... Even though I am definitely not a beginner anymore. But I am not even close to advanced ...
I want to have a band. But beforehand, I guess I have to figure some things out by myself. I already know its name, and I want us to play at festivals and whatnot. If only I knew what style the music would be ... If I may say this, I would love to invent a music genre of my own. I wouldn*t know how to call it, but I don*t want to copy anybody else. I have various instruments I like - both exotic as well as "old" ones. However, would it be more ... Electronic? Or "organic"? I don*t know ...
I feel so tired and sick of everything, it has to get out of me. I know music is a good way to get to that point. Like, my own music therapy. I want to set up a plan of what to do ... But I know I might not stick to it anyways. Maybe if I didn*t set a certain date or something? It wouldn*t set me under that much pressure ...
*switches on "Promenade" by Közi and instantly feels better*
(Isn*t it strange what one song can do? :D) I should maybe search for another page like this first. Maybe I will find some people. Not directly for a band, but friends to make music with :). To meet up and play something from time to time. But no jam sessions at first! I can improvise, but only as long as there*s nobody else playing along Oô ... Mh. And maybe I shouldn*t put too much pressure on me at first -- even though I have to admit this is kinda hard. But, it is easier to solve various little problems than one big one. So ...
LET*S GO!! ^_____________^
Whatever. I guess that, even if I found somebody on this page, I wouldn*t continue staying in contact with them. Which is my own fault, I know. The last time I was looking for band members sort of made me angry and feel even more lonely, or laughed at. I think nobody deserves being treated this way. On the other hand, I*d need a room, some space, to play with others. PLUS : Jam Sessions? This sounds like "We don*t want any 'beginners' to play with us!" ... Even though I am definitely not a beginner anymore. But I am not even close to advanced ...
I want to have a band. But beforehand, I guess I have to figure some things out by myself. I already know its name, and I want us to play at festivals and whatnot. If only I knew what style the music would be ... If I may say this, I would love to invent a music genre of my own. I wouldn*t know how to call it, but I don*t want to copy anybody else. I have various instruments I like - both exotic as well as "old" ones. However, would it be more ... Electronic? Or "organic"? I don*t know ...
I feel so tired and sick of everything, it has to get out of me. I know music is a good way to get to that point. Like, my own music therapy. I want to set up a plan of what to do ... But I know I might not stick to it anyways. Maybe if I didn*t set a certain date or something? It wouldn*t set me under that much pressure ...
*switches on "Promenade" by Közi and instantly feels better*
(Isn*t it strange what one song can do? :D) I should maybe search for another page like this first. Maybe I will find some people. Not directly for a band, but friends to make music with :). To meet up and play something from time to time. But no jam sessions at first! I can improvise, but only as long as there*s nobody else playing along Oô ... Mh. And maybe I shouldn*t put too much pressure on me at first -- even though I have to admit this is kinda hard. But, it is easier to solve various little problems than one big one. So ...
LET*S GO!! ^_____________^
... ?! Oô
I just woke up and I am trying to recall my dreams.
The first one I had was about a short class trip with the class I was in as a teenager. We were inside a train, and I was looking for an ideal place. I could see my reflection in the windows so I guess the train drove through a tunnel. I thought that I should get a place where I could see the train stations perfectly, so I seated myself opposite a window.
After awhile, the train left the tunnel, and I saw a group of women standing outside infront of the next tunnel, including my mum*. She made gestures saying "Get out of the train!" Then all my class mates and I had to leave the train. They were somewhat disappointed.
Now on to another dream :
I was with J* (a friend of mine), and we wanted to write down Közi*s lyrics. She wanted to ask her teacher (or was it our teacher in this dream?!) whether she got the lyrics right, and sent an e*mail to her and me mentioning all the quotes she got. One song was about fruits Oô. It sounded like "Crimson Star" a bit, but it went like :
"Sweet fruit, shiny fruit, smelly fruit, ..." and so on. XDD I don*t remember the other ones.
Ah yes, one was about cheating. I think it must have been "Crimson Star", too, because of the way it went.
I don*t remember the rest. Mh ...
Anyways, have a good day everybody!!
The first one I had was about a short class trip with the class I was in as a teenager. We were inside a train, and I was looking for an ideal place. I could see my reflection in the windows so I guess the train drove through a tunnel. I thought that I should get a place where I could see the train stations perfectly, so I seated myself opposite a window.
After awhile, the train left the tunnel, and I saw a group of women standing outside infront of the next tunnel, including my mum*. She made gestures saying "Get out of the train!" Then all my class mates and I had to leave the train. They were somewhat disappointed.
Now on to another dream :
I was with J* (a friend of mine), and we wanted to write down Közi*s lyrics. She wanted to ask her teacher (or was it our teacher in this dream?!) whether she got the lyrics right, and sent an e*mail to her and me mentioning all the quotes she got. One song was about fruits Oô. It sounded like "Crimson Star" a bit, but it went like :
"Sweet fruit, shiny fruit, smelly fruit, ..." and so on. XDD I don*t remember the other ones.
Ah yes, one was about cheating. I think it must have been "Crimson Star", too, because of the way it went.
I don*t remember the rest. Mh ...
Anyways, have a good day everybody!!
Donnerstag, 15. Januar 2009
Midwinternight*s dreams ...
I don*t know how those sequences were connected to each other, so my report might not cover the entire dream ... ANYWAYS :
In this dream I was in Japan. I think we saw a poster and some show on TV - both featuring Közi. As in, he was on the poster (it was a Közi poster ONLY), and he was on the TV show, too. We were invited by the owner of the poster I think, and one former friend of mine was there, too. She told the hosts that the meal wasn*t delicious and whatnot; I felt so ashamed (and I even thought there was no reason to say this, since the meal WAS good!). My mum* and Meian* were there as well, I think.
Then there was a sequence in which I talked to my mum* about Közi. She said he has got beautiful eyes (which he does!).
Then I don*t remember anything about it, but a friend of mine posted a comment on an LJ entry or something that I wrote, including pictures and some text, but it didn*t feature Közi at all. I was somewhat disappointed. Mh.
I also remember there were some guys about 12 or 13 years old, that attacked Meian*, and I ran up to them, fought them and yelled at them.
The next thing I remember is that we had a P. E. lesson with our former German/history teacher at this school. We had to do a hurdle race, and I was wearing a long skirt and had no clothes to change. However, I took out a DVD (or VHS) and watched it on TV ... It was the TV show I told you about earlier. Some of my classmates (I don*t remember who in particular) watched the show with Meian* and me. Our teacher was behind us all the time, and later I thought : "Ahh, you watched enough! Now go get the hurdles!!" So I went to fetch them. However, it weren*t normal hurdles; they were boxes. I guess one of my classmates whom I don*t remember as well was really angry with me, since she took three or four boxes at once, and left only one for me to carry.
And that was that. Oô
In this dream I was in Japan. I think we saw a poster and some show on TV - both featuring Közi. As in, he was on the poster (it was a Közi poster ONLY), and he was on the TV show, too. We were invited by the owner of the poster I think, and one former friend of mine was there, too. She told the hosts that the meal wasn*t delicious and whatnot; I felt so ashamed (and I even thought there was no reason to say this, since the meal WAS good!). My mum* and Meian* were there as well, I think.
Then there was a sequence in which I talked to my mum* about Közi. She said he has got beautiful eyes (which he does!).
Then I don*t remember anything about it, but a friend of mine posted a comment on an LJ entry or something that I wrote, including pictures and some text, but it didn*t feature Közi at all. I was somewhat disappointed. Mh.
I also remember there were some guys about 12 or 13 years old, that attacked Meian*, and I ran up to them, fought them and yelled at them.
The next thing I remember is that we had a P. E. lesson with our former German/history teacher at this school. We had to do a hurdle race, and I was wearing a long skirt and had no clothes to change. However, I took out a DVD (or VHS) and watched it on TV ... It was the TV show I told you about earlier. Some of my classmates (I don*t remember who in particular) watched the show with Meian* and me. Our teacher was behind us all the time, and later I thought : "Ahh, you watched enough! Now go get the hurdles!!" So I went to fetch them. However, it weren*t normal hurdles; they were boxes. I guess one of my classmates whom I don*t remember as well was really angry with me, since she took three or four boxes at once, and left only one for me to carry.
And that was that. Oô
Sonntag, 11. Januar 2009
Progressions and such.
Last night I dreamed something involving Közi, but I don*t remember much/anything (!) about it, so no dream interpretation now or anything ... Hm. What a pity ;D.
I wrote an entry in my LJ a few minutes ago, and it dealed with me not really wanting to start doing transit horoscopes and such, and now I find myself searching for hints as to what certain progression aspects mean. As in, aspects from my radix planets to the transit ones. Or whatever you call it (^^). See, my English should really get at least a little better *ahem*.
I also am interested in what the single Arabic Points mean. The entry I told you about is pretty long and deals with this subject. I don*t know whether I should copy it, but I feel like I want to know more about what the certain points mean in their signs and so on, but I cannot find any interpretations - except for the Part of Fortune. Meaning I might post a lot more about what I think it might mean in the certain signs and so on ... Maybe I should start today, but I don*t know ...
Moon has recently entered the 11th house of my natal chart ;). I guessed that it meant that friends play a certain important role right now. I am thinking a lot about friends of mine, not only in connection to my move, but also friends I sort of left behind. I don*t know whether it will get any "worse", but it*s sort of interesting to know this ...
I wrote an entry in my LJ a few minutes ago, and it dealed with me not really wanting to start doing transit horoscopes and such, and now I find myself searching for hints as to what certain progression aspects mean. As in, aspects from my radix planets to the transit ones. Or whatever you call it (^^). See, my English should really get at least a little better *ahem*.
I also am interested in what the single Arabic Points mean. The entry I told you about is pretty long and deals with this subject. I don*t know whether I should copy it, but I feel like I want to know more about what the certain points mean in their signs and so on, but I cannot find any interpretations - except for the Part of Fortune. Meaning I might post a lot more about what I think it might mean in the certain signs and so on ... Maybe I should start today, but I don*t know ...
Moon has recently entered the 11th house of my natal chart ;). I guessed that it meant that friends play a certain important role right now. I am thinking a lot about friends of mine, not only in connection to my move, but also friends I sort of left behind. I don*t know whether it will get any "worse", but it*s sort of interesting to know this ...
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