Urmel-aus-dem-Eis-Video :D!!

I just found one of the cutest things EVER :



I am currently wondering about some series of the "Augsburger Puppenkiste" I used to watch :). There was one that played in a hotel, I think, but I don*t remember what it was like :( ... Or the name of it. I forget things so easily, and in the end there are just vague memories left.

101/1001

Some of you might know what the title stands for. Basically, it is for doing 101 things in 1001 days, as in working on goals you have set for your life :). I have posted this list somewhere else already, and am also already working on the goals. I started on 9 August 2009, and the date it will be finished is 6 May 2012 :). I hope I will be able to post my progress every now and then.

And then again, I have other news for you ...

oo1) Practice playing the guitar every day for a month (0/31)
oo2) Get better at singing via taking classes, watching instruction videos, etc.
oo3) Do karaoke in a karaoke bar :)
oo4) Make a set of hairfalls
oo5) Goth up my wardrobe (aka get more gothic clothes)
oo6) Sew a piece of clothing
oo7) Get my left tragus pierced
oo8) Join a choir/band/etc. or start my own
oo9) Pass my Abitur with a good grade
o1o) Play/sing at a concert
o11) Make a natal chart and a natal chart interpretation for somebody else
o12) Get photos done of me wearing my favourite shoes and sexy clothes
o13) Cosplay
014) Reach at least 60kg
o15) Travel to either Finland or Japan ... Or both :D!
o16) Find my numerology book again, or buy a new one
o17) Start making interpretations for others concerning numerology
o18) Make at least one album for VV, as well as shrRî.ngAra karanA bleu
o19) Get the Cross Of Atlantis tattooed
o2o) Finish creating my own tarot deck (3/78)
o21) Write a biography about me to make others know more about me
o22) Learn the parapara moves to one song by Psycho le Cému, or to "Night Of Fire" by Hinoi Team and Korikki
o23) Learn how to read music FAST
o24) Tab a song of my choice
o25) Learn to love me again
o26) Learn to be more open around other people
o27) Get a super cool Közi/Kö-drück sign for my door :D
o28) Move out into my own flat
o29) Make a piece of furniture myself, or decorate them gothy (What is wrong with me that I want everything to be this way?!)
o3o) Make one ADIML
o31) Accept the fact I cannot change the past
o32) Meet up with some of my LJ friends
o33) Read 50 books (currently : 2/50)
o34) Continue learning Japanese
o35) Continue learning Finnish
o36) Start! learning! Bislama!
o37) Go to a music festival
o38) Participate in the Indaba project
o39) Write a travel guide-like text with tips, ideas, opinions, and so on
o4o) Start writing stories again
o41) Write a fanfiction on an anime series of my choice for a person of my choice
o42) Start with DOPA365
o43) Finish the DOPA365 list
o44) Buy at least one microphone
o45) Watch 20 movies that are new to me (1/20)
o46) Go to at least ONE concert
o47) Find a way to earn money and have fun at the same time
o48) Learn how to use make-up properly
o49) Go vegan for one month (0/31)
o5o) Write a novel in one month (doesn*t need to be November) (0/31)
o51) Learn how to draw in manga style properly
o52) Watch the remaining episodes of BSSM (at least of the 2nd season) (65/88 or 89)
o53) Continue reading Nana
o54) Try not to avoid conflict anymore, and be true to myself
o55) Draw ten more portraits (0/10)
o56) Encourage others to follow their dreams
o57) Start translating something from Japanese to English/German
o58) Do something for charity
o59) Learn how to walk on high heels
o6o) Make 15 new icons for my LJ (0/15)
o61) Finally have some snapdragons that survive ;___;
o62) Be open towards the people I care for concerning my disease
o63) Get everything I need for a stereo equipment, and build it up
o64) Interprete a really "strange" dream for a friend
o65) Download all the nack Közi videos and watch them one after another ♥
o66) Get a new rosary to wear everyday (used to have a turquoise one, but now it*s broken)
o67) Learn how to tell people mean things in Latin
o68) Cook 20 meals that I have never cooked before for others (0/20)
o69) Dare to be verrry experimental concerning my own music (as in, try all the genres I really care about :D)
o7o) Get 10 more cds (original of course!) (0/10)
o71) Write lyrics in French, Spanish, Finnish, and Japanese
o72) Write down what I like specifically in 10 songs of my choice, and try to get those things into my own ones without copying (0/10)
o73) Learn more about 3 religions of my choice (0/3)
o74) Get a bike to survive the traffic in the city, and ride it whenever I waaant tooo riiide myyy biiicycle
o75) Add new texts to the esoteric section on my homepage
o76) Get to know 3 more fine artists who are into surrealism (0/3)
o77) Create my own board game
o78) Dance every day for two weeks (0/14)
o79) Learn how to use a sewing machine
o8o) Take photos of everything making me happy
o81) Take photos during my next holiday
o82) Get to know my friends and family more than before
o83) Make collages that represent who I am, what I like, etc.
o84) Do something active for nature
o85) Get some jewellery with a deeper meaning to me
o86) Write a letter to myself monthly that has to be finished by the end of the challenge so that I can read it (I forgot to write in August, but I did September already :) ...)
o87) Allow myself to show my feelings, no matter what others think about it
o88) (Ask others to?) Take pictures of myself "before" and "after" my weight loss journey -- okay, the before needs to be taken as soon as possible
o89) Learn how to play five songs on the guitar (0/5)
o9o) Get my musical keyboard repaired
o91) Get my guitar repaired
o92) Demonstrate against something that seriously pisses me off
o93) Participate in an RPG :D
o94) Prove once again I am childish and create a j-rock comic
o95) Find fun ways to work out
o96) Learn all the words of the lyrics of 8 songs of my choice :) (0/8)
o97) Paint some walls turquoise (preferably in my future flat)
o98) Make myself a necklace with a certain symbol I wouldn*t find anywhere anyways
o99) Draw pictures of animals
1oo) Finally overcome my fear of escalators
1o1) Make a new list when these 1oo1 days are over~

The other news are : There are two more blogs I created recently.

One is for Esoteric in general, while the other is for writing about one of my favourite topics : MUSIC. In all its variations :).

Have a nice day!

Hair cut #1 (partly stolen from my LJ)

"Looked deeply in her eyes; so delicate ... (Quite unlike her smile!)

Pic #1 : Before.
Pic #2 : Before.
Pic #3 : The weapon.
Pic #4 : After.
Pic #5 : After.

Other plans for the upcoming weeks :

~ Straighten all my hair
~ Crimp single streaks of my hair
~ Bleach it
~ Dye it blueish turquoise
~ Cut the bangs into an asymmetric cut

:) Now you also know what I look like ... Okay, you might have known it before because of my profile picture but anyways ... :D

And yet more of a difference.

Yo! (Ain*t I cool? - NOOO!!)

I now only use the balance weekly, which is the best thing that might have happened to me lately. The weight this morning was 84.8 kilos (I gained 100g in comparison to last week*s Friday). I am still satisfied with it, though; at least I didn*t gain much more.

This week was the week of sweets - somehow. And bread. Which I actually only should eat twice a week. :( So, not paying attention to this, I ate a lot, but I kept the pauses, which might have been my rescue. And I didn*t eat the "Snickers" I was offered this week, because of that animal testing story that Mars was/is involved in. I wouldn*t support these morons, NEVER AGAIN.

*blah* But, well, today we will have Physical Education, so -- YAY~!! Ping pong!! ^.^ I think it is much fun. I hope I will be able to write a post in the other two blogs soon. I am looking forward to writing the articles :). Yesyesyes!

Oh, and BTW, I am working on a new piece of art~! ^.^

Some ... Ch-ch-ch-changes!

First of all, please let me draw your attention to a thing I have seen in another blog. The story behind it that the composer saw a picture of various birds on five wires, and put notes everywhere the birds sat, so that it became a melody :). The video can be found here.

Besides that, I just have the feeling I get back into blogging mood recently. It makes me happy there are blogs on so many different things, and you can read about them and get to know new things and whatnot. I guess mine is sort of "mixed", which might be a good thing, but maybemaybeMAYBE I should at least create new ones for other purposes, so that these things can be overviewed easily.

Maybe I will create a zine, too. It has been one of my dreams for quite a while now :P ... I also already know what to write about ... Okay, I actually have two things that might be interesting ... (To represent the Esotante of doom, and something related to music. Maybe I will ask for some help, though ... I don*t know yet :D.)

But, yeah, I am planning to upload a whole lot more. Hopefully I can live up to my dreams! GANBATTE!! ^^

Yet more weight loss talk :)

Hello everyone :),

I know I am most likely annoying everyone with this, but I am still doing this diet, and I am happy to announce some days ago my weight was below 90 kilos and it stayed this way. And even though I hardly believe the weight the balance showed this morning (86.3 kilos) was right, I am still happy.

I wanted to write more about the diet, without advertising it.

- There are many different types of meals. For example, if you eat several pieces of the same fruit (up to approximately five when they have a certain size ...), you have to do two hours of a pause afterwards. If you eat various types of fruits at once, or if you eat something like yoghurt (PURE!) or drink milk (PURE!), there are two hours pause afterwards. Then there are alkaline meals (I think they have a pause of two hours afterwards, too, but I am not sure here), and concentrated (?) meals (three hours pause afterwards). And there are soups; some of them having only one pause afterwards. :)

- Besides the pauses, there are some things one has to notice. For example, when you want to eat bread with cheese, you have to pay attention that the cheese has at least 50% fat. If you want to eat carbs with mayonnaise, the mayonnaise has to have at least 80% fat. And the beat goes on. Funny though, it really works. ^^

- There is one absolutely fat-free day every week. It is called "Entlastungstag" in German, so ... "Relief day"?

- Ah yes, and with some meals, you have to eat some salad along with it. For example concentrated meals, but I think you also have to do so with alkaline meals. You also have to eat salad along with potato salad :). Because this counts as a concentrated meal as far as I know.

- There are many recipes for sweet stuff in the various books and thin booklets we have of this diet, but you have to plan those sweet meals very well :).

- Last but not least, if you drink tea or water, you can drink as much as you like from it (I think the only exception is black tea). Since I love tea, this is really a great thing ^o^ ... And I sometimes drink orange juice mixed with water, too. But not too much; I remember gaining weight from orange juice as it is :(. I actually wonder why, since it didn*t have any sugar added - it was 100% orange juice and nothing else. Probably it is the concentration? O__O

Okay. That*s all I can think of right now. IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, please don*t hesitate to ask :).

((On another note : I will try to work on more interpretations for the Arabic parts. I just found a book on this subject, but haven*t been able to buy it until now :( ... I hope I will be able to do so soon!!))

94.4 kg :)

... is my new weight :). I actually started at 99.1 kilos several days ago, meaning I almost lost 5 kilos. This time, I will treat my current weight as if there was a difference of five kilos *yay~!* ^^. Meaning, I have to think of something I want to do to myself. Something good :) ... Who knows what it will be? I don*t yet :D.

Another weight loss entry :)

Abusing the balance this morning made me get the result "95.5 kg" :). I am really, really happy. Remember my start weight? That*s the point :D.

And my granny* didn*t notice that. But do I care? This time I won*t ... (She often makes strange remarks about my body, and I should be used to it by now.) I remember the last time I did care about that I stopped the entire diet; this time I will continue doing so.

Once again she talked to my mum* about my disease. I ... cannot say how much I hate that. "It is all her father's fault that she turned out to be ill!" and whatnot. =o= First of all, I AM NOT ILL. Even people sharing this fate have told me I am not. Secondly, why should it be my father's fault?! When I was diagnosed with schizophrenic psychosis I hadn*t seen him for quite awhile.

... But should I go around and tell everyone "whose fault" it is? Guess! It is entirely mine ... Solely mine. I said I was like that because I wanted to shelter another person. Who wouldn*t do that?! And in the end, it all turned out to be very real what I went through, and this is probably the worst thing of it all ...

Do what you want but don*t forget the ... MILK!

It*s been a long time since I last wrote something in here. So I told myself : "I should maybe do so again.", and here I am!! (Hooray for stupid intros, pt. 1!)

I hope everyone is alright. :)

I am happy because I started losing weight again. I stick to the pauses and haven*t drunk any cocoa or coke or similar stuff for the past four (?) days. I also don*t mind walking a little and whatnot.

The moment I weighed myself the first time again two or three days ago, I was not really surprised, though I should have been. 99.1 kilos - That*s way too much to take. I sort of felt numb, but also, I knew I wanted to change something about it ... And so I started the diet again.

Yesterday it was still 97.3 kilos, this morning it was 96.9 kilos. I know this sounds like much, but this is normal when you are doing this kind of diet ("Wake Up"). And the next few days will probably be harder, but I won*t give up again this time!

The bolded weight was the highest weight I have ever reached. I actually really hate the fact that I got to this point, and I am happy I was able to turn the steering wheel *round. Okay, it has just been a few days, but I have been disciplined. And I ate strawberries again~~!! +___+ (HOORAY FOR STRAWBERRIES!!! :D)

And that*s that. :)

And some more stuff ...

Minna-san, konnichiwa!! :D

I am really sorry for not having written in awhile. I did miss this blog somehow, and if I didn*t, I wouldn*t have returned here :P. I hope everyone is doing fine and that you didn*t miss me too much (actually I know of the two people reading that they did read the entries in between that I posted on another blog :D).

Well, I don*t really know where to start. I currently feel not very well with myself, but I hope this will change soon. Reason? I gained weight again, about four kilos, and now I have to lose more weight than before (obviously). I need to eat more fruits, but at least I avoided sweet drinks the last few days. If only this was enough, but nooo, it isn*t. ;_-_;

I updated my homepage recently. It features many things, but most are hidden behind numbers and "weird" names. At least that*s what others might think ... But I love staying in hiding :P.

I read one of my bucket lists again and I sort of feel like a complete failure. Even though I know I am not. There is actually something I am looking forward to this year, but I won*t tell you since I am paranoid and think it might not work if I did. BLAH. It was news that came to me when I felt really down several weeks ago, and ever since I have been thinking about it; it is my top priority and I want it to work out ^^.

But yeah, the bucket list ... I at least kept being a non-smoker and I even wrote my first class test in school already (Geography; 13 points). So one further step towards my goal of passing my Abitur.

And I should be learning for another class test right now. Since I haven*t read the book we are going to write about (uh-oh!) this is going to be a funny classtest. At least I hope I will be able to hear the story beforehand. .___. Okay, I know the story from the movies we*ve seen, but on the other hand, some might lie or not mention important things ... Hoo-effing-ray!

So ... That was that for now. :( I am sorry to bore you with such facts, but, hey, you wanted to read it after all ;P!

PS : I broke my left little finger almost two weeks ago, but don*t worry it is almost healed. Just doing sports, especially playing volleyball, right now is dangerous.

Ich bin wieder da! ("Es ist nie zu spät, um alt zu sein!!")

OMG! I love going to the local book shop ... I love the esoteric division, and the music division, and ... Everything I saw was so great, and I want to buy all the books XDD.

We also got our school reports yesterday. I achieved 15 points in English, 13 points in Math, Geography, and German, 10 points in Sociology, and 9 points in P. E. :D. I am happy about the school report, even though I could have been a lot better in Sociology and P. E. ... But whatever :D. I am looking forward to the passing my final exams, but this will be next year :).

I am now at Facebook ... Okay, I have been there before, too, but I forgot about my account XDD. But now I remembered it. ("Ich war weg und bin jetzt wieder da!" ;D)

Okay, now on to the 4th semester, which will be over this summer! I am looking forward to it, even though it will be full of stress ...

Mh. I still wonder what I will do after school is over. Therefore, it is kind of good that I have to pass three more semesters until this moment. I want to concentrate on only one thing ... Even though I have a certain music college-type of school I am considering attending. But I don*t know how to get there ... Except for one thing : WORKING REALLY HARD. And that*s what I want to do ... I have more than only one option; this is my problem :(.

Okay, I wanted to show I am still here, and that I didn*t forget about this place ... Ahem.

Wehrlos im Sturm der Gefühle!

Oh ... My ... Goth!

We just watched "Ein Mann, Ein Fjord!" :). I so rofled and loled (Hooray for internet speak!!). No really, it was one of the funniest movies I have ever seen in my life ... Especially the scenes with Uschi Blum were so effing funny!! :D *grins and falls down to the floor XDD*

Say what you want, Hape Kerkeling really rules :] ... And Norway is such a beautiful country +___+. I loved the guy that read the cards, too. He used a dog "happy families" game for this XDD. "The sledge dog symbolized danger!" XDDD

Seriously, I saw Yami no Bakura using YGO!-cards to tell someone his fortune, but this beats it all! *nods*

Band dream Oô

I dreamed last night (once again) that I was in a band. We had only one song written, even though I asked the other members to write some music, too (the song was my own composition). I also wanted to cover "Enjoy The Silence". I was the singer this time, and I think I played the guitar as well. We practiced the song, but I don*t remember much about the rehearsals; then was a talent show or something which I don*t remember playing at, either. Anyways, I think we then had a pause, because I was watching TV (I don*t know whether I was watching with the others or alone), and the TV show host talked about the talent show, and wanted his audience to sort of tell him which band they thought best of ... Our song name was "Revolution", and we were the second band on stage that evening (out of five or so?). Anyways, the audience had to clap. I thought they would seriously freak out because of the band that was first, but they clapped moderately. As they then heard the song name "Revolution", they clapped louder, and longer. Maybe some of them even stood up? It was funny because the TV host had to mention the band*s names, not the song names. Anyhow, I was sort of confused because I didn*t know whether we were really meant by this. The third band had great applause, too, but still a little less than us. (BTW, as they heard the "Re" of "Revolution", they already started clapping Oô ...) As for the next two, I guess they weren*t that good, at least if the audience had to choose this. Mh. I was pretty amazed, too ...

My relationship to the rest of the band was somewhat ... strange, though. There was some young woman who I often argued with ... :( And the rest was just guys I don*t remember :P.

(But, goth, I*d so love to be in a real band ... With band members I*d get along with ... *sigh*)


** Current Music : * Red Hot Chili Peppers *-* Otherside * **

Doriimu!! Oô

Strange doriimu I had last night Oô :

Last night I had a strange dream that I only remember some scenes of. One of them I bent down, my back being naked. My German teacher, Mr H*, ate one of my anti-psychotics (Seroquel), and spat it out onto my back. It looked like a citron then Oô. But it was parted in the middle.

Then I also dreamed that Közi released a new DVD. Don*t remember much about it, but I was happy :).

I looked up some of the symbols of the first dream, since it was somewhat strange ... I didn*t talk to my German teacher much, and I certainly didn*t spit anything, nor did I think about it, and I don*t know where the citron comes from either.

Mh. So the citron stands for anger, deception, and so on. My German teacher really was a bit pissed off because I didn*t do my homework *lalalaaa* ... XD Maybe it also stands for my own anger and deception. This would also explain why it was parted in the middle : I didn*t feel angry recently, even though some people might if they were in my situation. I also remember I once spat my medication out; it*s just coming back to my mind but that was several years ago. :(

Spitting something out, as one of my former friends once told me, might mean that I don*t see any sense in this. Maybe Mr H* thinks the same thing?? Oô And, oh, the back ... Since I literally SAW it (like I was standing on my right), this is a plus, because if a back plays a special role in the dream, it means "Get to know your more intimate points of your personality!" Because I saw it this means that I might have found them (recently).

Deutung.com also says that being spat on means success and luck (who wouldn*t have thought this now :P?!) ... I hope so :). Aaand ... Being naked means "wanting to be recognized for the real self". Which is sort of true ... I want others to like me the way I am. Because I often find people telling me that I should change my character traits ... I know some of them point to a mental illness, but on the other hand ... It*s still me. Why should I change this?! Who would be worth this change?! ONLY ME!! And as long as I feel good with myself, I don*t want to change anything ...

I don*t know; this is a lot of information, but if anyone happens to google all the words because they had EXACTLY the same dream, well, here you*ll find your information!!

So much to tell, so little time ...

I just participated in a test that should show you what your ideal job will be and whatnot. It was sort of depressing, because the result was something I didn*t like ... Some jobs connected to sports, for example. Or teeth Oô. I surely wouldn*t like to do this ...

Fact is, music therapist is a good job, but right now, I feel like I lack the enthusiasm about it. I, however, started composing a new song today. It features power chords ONLY so far, so I guess it is not that good, but on the other hand, I just hope I will be able to concentrate on something I like doing. Such as "making music". The song itself is called "Freedom", like so many other songs written before, and since I played the chords like a billion times today I feel I have heard it somewhere before. And I hate this feeling because you never know whether you really stole it from somebody else ... Gahgahgah. I will play it to my family this weekend; I hope I will be finished with the chords and so on by then. Most of the music is written already, with funny numbers that represent the single chords.

I feel a little bit sad about this result, really. But who am I to think a machine, a computer knows what is best for me? It just tried to help, and I am thankful for this ... But then again, I hope I will get a job that is connected with the thing I love most ... MUSIC.

And I need to go grocery shopping tomorrow in the early morning hours. DO NOT WANT!! ó___ò

(I guess I will write a lot more tomorrow, but that is that for now. Feel relieved. Happy. Insecure about what is to come :P ...)

Start weight :)

Okay, last Friday my weight was still about 95.6 kilos or so .___.. This morning it was 94.5 kilos :).

And, I need to tell this to myself, so I won*t forget it : The balance was placed in the corridor, a little bit away from the wall, to the right of the door to the bathroom. Yesss.

Teh befamous WLL (Weight-Loss-List XD)

Teh list of doom :

Don*t you dare looking shocked at all! I don*t care what you think about me. At least I am willing to change something in my life, and I know it will be a good change, and that I can do it!!

Wenn I reach ... I want to ...

Before : I want to change my hair colour to show myself I am ready for a change, and that I can look good the way I am. I started eating more fruits, and I want to change my habit of drinking too little water/tea. I actually love tea and water, but I feel sick whenever I drink more than one liter Oô. However, I want to change this; I want to drink more step by step.

When I reach 90 kilos I want to buy a pair of trousers that actually fits. AHEM. I have got one pair of trousers that used to be wayyy too wide, but I didn*t wear it recently. However, I want to have a pair of trousers that is maybe a little tighter.

When I reach 85 kilos I guess I already want to celebrate :D. Since I hope the weather will be nicer, I don*t want to do JUST indoor sports anymore. I want to start taking walks again ... It would be great to be outside more. Plus, it is healthy. And so much fun.

When I reach 80 kilos I*d like to buy some more sports tools. If I cannot wait for this goal and buy that stuff beforehand, I will change this goal to ... Mmh ... Maybe sewing something for my mother* ^^. I*d love to learn how to sew ...

When I reach 75 kilos I think I had enough time to save money for this, so I want to buy a book on learning a language of my choice (most likely Japanese). I want to start learning this language properly, and I think my enthusiasm when I reached this weight will do its best to make me enthusiastic about learning as well.

When I reach 70 kilos I want to sew something for myself, too :). Or buy a nice piece of clothing ... But sewing would be the greatest. Maybe I should look for something to repair our sewing machine with beforehand, or search for one on the world wide web. I want to choose a piece of clothing that I would have liked to have actually ...

When I reach 65 kilos I want to get a new piercing, or maybe the tattoo I have been dreaming of so much ... I guess I will not be able to wait for the piercing much longer, but as for the tattoo -- mmh!! It would be great to reach this weight and show to myself that one can do anything if he/she is disciplined enough ;D.

When I reach 60 kilos I want to start doing some training to get a better condition. Sure, I want to do sports beforehand - and I definitely will, but my biggest goal in sports is starting to do martial arts. Yes I have got an idea of which sport it should be but if that*s not possible I have got some alternatives, too :).

When I reach 55 kilos ... I am actually pretty much where I want to be (Actually I said 53 kilos, but 55 would be okay, too :D). I want to enjoy life by this time, go swimming a lot, sew my own clothes, try new things, be self-confident and whatnot. I think by this time I will realize how great it was having achieved what I wanted. I don*t want to lose much more weight (~ 2 kilos but not more!). I want to be happy with who and what I am. I guess this is the greatest present I could make for myself, so ... Yesh. That*s that.

... I know it won*t go fast, and that is the best ... But I am not alone, and I am willing to change something (like I said before).

And now I will go to sleep. Tomorrow is the first weigh-myself-day ^^.

Je cherche une âme qui pourra m*aider ...

Goth, I love this song ("Désenchantée" by Mylène Farmer ...).

I didn*t find the hair dye so far, but I feel like I lost a billion kilos of weight so far :). Maybe it is not that much. I told Meian* that I will use the balance tomorrow, and then we*ll see ^^.

I want to create a list of things I will do whenever I lost five more kilos. To keep me going ... Mh! Hopefully I will do those things for real then :D. I will post the list later most likely. Need to think about the goals and so on.

And I might create an account with a certain page. Need to think this over before; maybe I will do so a little later or something ...

(And the pain started again ;___; ...)

The love ... and the laziness .___.

I still haven*t continued reading "Effi Briest". Shame on me!! *hides* *seeks* *közis* XDD

Which now leads me to the next topic : THE LOVE :D. I am currently listening to Közi*s music again ... It has been awhile since I listened to it last time - officially, at least. I cannot say how much I love his music ... And I have got to say : Minako has got a nice voice (currently listening to "Kaikou"). If only I know what they were singing/saying in this song ... Mmmf!! Okay, I understand "Izayoi no tsuki" when Közi starts speaking. But that is that.

Ah yeah. We got our English marks today :] ... *dances around* I will probably tell you when I finally hold the school report in my hands. But I can say : I am very, very happy about my mark!! ^.^ My teacher asked me some questions after she told me about it, whether I want to work in a field which enables me to speak English more or something. I told her I want to go abroad. No lie :). Same goes for the field I*d love to work in; I said I want to do something with music, didn*t want to mention the music therapy stuff now, but ... Oh well. She seemed a bit surprised, asking me whether I play an instrument. Which I can say I do. ^^

Mmh ... What else? I learned something important today, even though nobody told me or so. It was a special on TV about a clairvoyant woman and the fact she helped a young woman and her brother to search for their father, who maybe died because of the tsunami several years ago. (Was it in Sri Lanka? I don*t know, really, for the reason I was very ill during this time, or at least hospitalized ...) It was really awful; she tried to keep her face, but nobody knows whether she was just following an illusion or whatever. She even tried to "talk" to the father. By "talk", I guess you know what I mean. I can imagine her situation, but also that of the siblings ... And there are people saying that one shouldn*t say anything about death e. g. when doing tarot readings. Maybe it is the same with helping people out of a situation ... Or at least, it always seems to me that, whenever a psychic person (I don*t even doubt they have certain gifts!) gets money for using their senses, it turns out to be a complete disaster.

Anyways, I don*t want to take money for doing e. g. tarot readings, or for whatever else I might do for others in my future. Which is a reason why I couldn*t work in this field ... I would fear losing my abilities because of the constant use of them and whatnot. I don*t want to end up this way. And as for death questions -- not for me. I remember I once wanted to know how a certain person, a former friend of mine, was, and even though I didn*t know how certain things worked those days, I did what my heart told me ... And felt nothing but a "hole". It was really a hollow feeling, something was missing. Later I was told she died. It was really a strange situation.

What is also strange is that, whenever I think back of this event, I see a part of our old house infront of me, but it has nothing to do with that. I just always connect this event with this part of our old house, that I didn*t even live in anymore those days.

When it comes to things like that, it is such a fragile topic ... And I hope nobody blames anyone for the fact they didn*t find the father in the end. I loved the end of the episode, though : they put a picture of him into some kind of bowl, and they said that they hope just the best for the father, no matter where he is right now.

And now I am freezing. Need to get up early tomorrow. ~__~

Much love!!

La musique ...

I found a nice page yesterday which you have to pay for ... At least if you want to use all the features. However, a "basic account" there is free. Downside? You have to give them your postal adress, and I currently wonder why ... It is a page where you can find musicians who are looking for bands or single band members, but who also would play only from time to time. I think that it would be a good way of getting over my boredom, my solitude, whatever. Yeah, I must sound really depressive now :P.

Whatever. I guess that, even if I found somebody on this page, I wouldn*t continue staying in contact with them. Which is my own fault, I know. The last time I was looking for band members sort of made me angry and feel even more lonely, or laughed at. I think nobody deserves being treated this way. On the other hand, I*d need a room, some space, to play with others. PLUS : Jam Sessions? This sounds like "We don*t want any 'beginners' to play with us!" ... Even though I am definitely not a beginner anymore. But I am not even close to advanced ...

I want to have a band. But beforehand, I guess I have to figure some things out by myself. I already know its name, and I want us to play at festivals and whatnot. If only I knew what style the music would be ... If I may say this, I would love to invent a music genre of my own. I wouldn*t know how to call it, but I don*t want to copy anybody else. I have various instruments I like - both exotic as well as "old" ones. However, would it be more ... Electronic? Or "organic"? I don*t know ...

I feel so tired and sick of everything, it has to get out of me. I know music is a good way to get to that point. Like, my own music therapy. I want to set up a plan of what to do ... But I know I might not stick to it anyways. Maybe if I didn*t set a certain date or something? It wouldn*t set me under that much pressure ...

*switches on "Promenade" by Közi and instantly feels better*

(Isn*t it strange what one song can do? :D) I should maybe search for another page like this first. Maybe I will find some people. Not directly for a band, but friends to make music with :). To meet up and play something from time to time. But no jam sessions at first! I can improvise, but only as long as there*s nobody else playing along Oô ... Mh. And maybe I shouldn*t put too much pressure on me at first -- even though I have to admit this is kinda hard. But, it is easier to solve various little problems than one big one. So ...

LET*S GO!! ^_____________^

... ?! Oô

I just woke up and I am trying to recall my dreams.

The first one I had was about a short class trip with the class I was in as a teenager. We were inside a train, and I was looking for an ideal place. I could see my reflection in the windows so I guess the train drove through a tunnel. I thought that I should get a place where I could see the train stations perfectly, so I seated myself opposite a window.

After awhile, the train left the tunnel, and I saw a group of women standing outside infront of the next tunnel, including my mum*. She made gestures saying "Get out of the train!" Then all my class mates and I had to leave the train. They were somewhat disappointed.

Now on to another dream :

I was with J* (a friend of mine), and we wanted to write down Közi*s lyrics. She wanted to ask her teacher (or was it our teacher in this dream?!) whether she got the lyrics right, and sent an e*mail to her and me mentioning all the quotes she got. One song was about fruits Oô. It sounded like "Crimson Star" a bit, but it went like :

"Sweet fruit, shiny fruit, smelly fruit, ..." and so on. XDD I don*t remember the other ones.

Ah yes, one was about cheating. I think it must have been "Crimson Star", too, because of the way it went.

I don*t remember the rest. Mh ...

Anyways, have a good day everybody!!

To-do-list for the upcoming week :)

* Buy hair dye (I finally found some product to dye my hair with ^^)
* Practice the guitar
* Read at least until chapter 19 of "Effi Briest" (I am currently reading the sixth or seventh chapter ... Dunno .___.! -- But luckily the chapters aren*t that long!)
* Try to find some books on music therapy on a certain homepage
* Write down what happened in the 15th chapter of "Effi Briest", and judge the niceness of the characters throughout the first 19 chapters .___.
* Write some more interpretations (astrology-wise)
* Weigh myself (I don*t feel like I lost weight today :( ...)
* Sing!
* Continue taking the medication I got from the doctor
* Continue watching the second season of Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon :D
(...)

I guess that*s that for now.

Maybe I am just bored ... "^^" Guess that this was the reason for this post ... Guess I will either continue reading "Effi Briest" now, orrr I will continue watching Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon XD ... Mmh. Do you really need to know my decision? ^_^ (I guess I will do both in a certain way :D!)


** Current Music : * Siouxsie And The Banshees *-* Spellbound * **

Sorttypentestergebnis :)

Der Stimulanz-Typ
Er/sie liebt Lust, Genuss, Neugier, Abenteuer. Urtyp dieser Ausprägung ist der Nomade. Er konnte sich schnell an neue Gegenden und klimatische Veränderungen anpassen. Dabei war er stets getrieben, sich neues Terrain zu erschließen. Heute kennzeichnet Menschen dieses Typs unter anderem die Lust am Ausprobieren und geistige Kreativität. Vor allem im Aktivitätsdrang ähneln sich dominanz- und stimulanz motivierte Personen. Bei den Letztgenannten sind Egozentrik und Konkurrenzverhalten jedoch weniger ausgeprägt, denn an Macht ist ihnen nicht gelegen. Sie sind vielmehr auf der Suche nach Genuss und Erfüllung. Und obwohl sie sich unter Menschen pudelwohl fühlen, sind sie zugleich individualistisch und unangepasst. Reizarmut und Langeweile ertragen sie deshalb kaum.

Das sind ideale Sportarten für den Stimulanz-Typ
Um fit zu bleiben, ist für Sie ein Mix aus Ausdauer, Beweglichkeit und Schnelligkeit, wie etwa bei Aerobic oder beim Snowboarden ideal. Regelmäßiges Lauftraining und Kraftsport sind für Sie eher nicht so erfüllend. Auf Wettbewerb ausgerichtete Sportarten sollten sie meiden. Wichtig für Sie ist ein Ausgleich zwischen körperlicher und geistiger Tätigkeit. Zu empfehlen sind daher Sportarten wie Yoga, Tai Chi oder Entspannungstechniken wie Feldenkrais.

Weitere Sportarten für ausgeprägte Stimulanztypen sind Bowling, Eislauf, Feldhockey, Fußball, Inline-Skaten, Jazz und Modern Dance, Segelfliegen und Wasserski. Disziplinen, von denen zusätzlich die Mischtypen „Abenteurer“ und „Genießer“ profitieren, finden Sie an entsprechender Stelle unter Dominanz- bzw. Balancetyp.

At first it was a dream but now it*s a nightmare.

I just got up. As some of you may guess from the tag, I didn*t have such a nice night full of sleep and whatnot. I had to think about various things beforehand, and I couldn*t control myself (How fitting : I am listening to "She*s Lost Control" by Joy Division right now ...). When I finally was able to sleep, I finally felt a certain feeling I know from various nights in the past.

However, I kept calm and decided to wake myself up. It was the same as always, concerning being moved around, and my hands/arms moving quickly infront of my eyes. When I woke up, I finally felt the source. The rest isn*t there to be told, but just leave it to : "It stopped after awhile."

Besides this, I dreamed that Meian* talked to me in Japanese, and I didn*t get all the words, so I was pretty annoyed. I then talked back to her in French. Yeah. (And once again, fitting, since "Libertine" by Mylène Farmer started being played in the moment I wrote the word "FRENCH" XDD.) I don*t remember the rest ...

I want to know some things now. (In the sense of "astrology" ^^ ...) Maybe I will write something about it. By this I mean, aspects to the single house cusps :D.

Also, today starts the losing-weight mission. ^o^ We want to eat potato soup today :). Maybe I will also let FitForFun calculate a sports plan for me :D. The web site is great, and so is the magazine *thumbs up*! ^.^

And that was that for now.

Styling Studio XD

Talking about "girly stuff", I am currently playing with a certain "Styling Studio" (You needn*t read this now *grin*) ... Goth, "Granatapfel" is a colour I would really look good with O___O. It would at least be a nice idea to try this one :).

I also tried BLACK contacts XDD. And, of course, turquoise ones~ +___+!! Most people know how much I like this colour ;D. Sometimes I*d really love to get some styling tips, but then again, I feel it*s so, hm, "STRANGE" for me :[ ... I like helping others with their styling, though ... Just nobody let*s me do this *^^* ... But, yeah, why not try a new hair colour? "Granatapfel", and then I will let my hair grow again ... Or maybe not ... I at least want to see myself with a mohawk ONCE in my life ;).

Also, I should maybe get new glasses if I see it this way ... *blah*

But, hooray for hair colours!! ^^ It looks kinda reddish. I have had my hair so far in the following colours *takes a deep breath* :

- Reddish dark purple
- Fire red (which then turned into a tone that reminded me of orange Oô)
- Black (countless times; I cannot see it anymore!)
- Purple (which vanished fast)
- Turquoise
- Turquoise/Pink

... I loved the latter one, but still I*d like to try something else :). Actually, I recently thought about turquoise combined with royal blue :). But some red tone would rock, too. ^o^

Ah well, I will maybe go to some shop selling those colours and buy this "Granatapfel" one :). I just hope it will turn out like on the pictures ... It really, REALLY looked good :] ...

Yayness~!! :D

I finally sent the letter/package to a certain person, whom I promised two of my cds. It was because I found her ad on WishUponAHero :). Now I just have to wait for her to receive it ^^.

Today, we bought some magazines about good food and sports. I cannot wait to start, and I will most likely do some sports today anyways ^o~ ... What made me cheer was a report about eight of the hottest sauces in the world. The hottest, according to the magazine, was "Da' Bomb Final Answer" - quite interesting. My mum* said she knew one of the sauces they talked about, but it was only on the 4th or 5th place *grin*. I don*t see much sense in eating stuff with hot sauces, even though sometimes it*s fun :D. But one of those? Mmh. Maybe not XD.

I wanted to say that I will start losing weight tomorrow. (Yeah, REALLY!) We bought some fruits, as well as tomatoes. And tomorrow we*ll eat some soup (potato soup, I think?). I will start drinking more tea again, and I cannot wait for the sport to start ;D! Even though I hated sports when I was younger than today, I love doing them. Especially when I want to get out of boredom and such. Maybe it is also because I stopped smoking and so on, which led to at least a healthier life in this way. However, my food has to be a lot more healthy, and I am glad I will be able to start losing weight again and so on. Also, when you eat e. g. fresh fruits or vegetables, you immediately feel the power which is inside of them :). [HUBBA HUBBA ZOOT ZOOT!! XDD~ (Sorry, I just had to write that now ...)]

As for next week, I hope I will be able to stick to the plan ...

Mh ... Ah yes, for the Germans out there : Check out Winfried Noé*s homepage (noeastro.de). Even though the horoscopes aren*t calculated for radix horoscopes it is a good site ... I like my horoscope interpretations based on my sun sign, really :). Fun fact : My horoscope for today read that I will enjoy today, and that I shouldn*t waste my day with unnecessary house work. After the shopping today (I just came back from grocery shopping when I read this XD) I should relax, spend time with my family, or I should do something for personal interests that usually get a bit overlooked. But also, it read that I could do sports :D. I really was cheerful when I read this.

I will do some girly stuff now ... Who would*ve thought this of me XDD?!

Doc :) ... & some thoughts about aggressive people.

I don*t want to tell many details about me going to the doctor, but I can say it wasn*t as bad as I expected. At least it*s "just" an infection which can be healed easily. I am taking medication for that from today on :). In two weeks, I have got another appointment, and they took a blood sample ... Now my arm hurts but the rest is okay. It maybe was an awkward situation, but no comment on that. The doctor is very nice, too ^^.

Mmh. What really made me angry today was some guys on the bus this evening when we went home. They were a "little bit" drunk, and yelled some things I didn*t understand, and started meowing for whatever reason and whatnot. They were so annoying. Anyways, they were in the back of the bus, so I didn*t care ... HOWEVER, they must have attacked two people in the back of the bus. After the guys got out, there were two man, a smaller one and a taller one, who got out of the bus at the next bus stop. I think they were talking in sign language ... But I could be wrong.

Just one thing : I hate it when youths (as in this case, but I am not only talking about youths!) who obviously drank alcohol and who hang around with their friends to be "stronger" than others, start attacking other people ... AND ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ARE HANDICAPPED!! And even if they weren*t, it*s still something one mustn*t do. Is it too much to expect other people to be amicable, as well as intelligent?! Sorry, but this kind of the behaviour the guys showed (the ones who were drunk and who yelled and so on) doesn*t show ANY of these things.

You aren*t alone on this planet - LUCKILY! Be happy that it is this way, because otherwise you wouldn*t even dare to be as destructive as you were this evening ... I have nothing against alcohol, as long as people can HANDLE it. And I have nothing against being with your friends as long as people know that this is not a reason to attack random people around them. What is the point of all this behaviour anyways?!

"Ah, I am from a ghetto!" or "Ah, I am the ghetto king/queen/sandwich of doom/whatever!" ... If people didn*t behave this way, they would certainly come out of this surrounding. And if people didn*t behave like this in the first place, these places would certainly be no "ghettos", maybe only areas where people live that haven*t been as lucky as others.

I am certainly not an angel, but at least I have more ability of thinking about others as well as myself than those guys. And I just hate this kind of behaviour, and aggressiveness in general.

I hope that the two men didn*t get hurt in any bad way, though. If they talked in sign language, maybe they didn*t hear them. *sigh*

How long, how long will I slide?

Did I ever mention I love the video for "Otherside" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers? :) Ah well. I do :D.

I don*t feel good right now. Reason is I have to go to the doctor today :( ... DO NOT WANT!

I had a dream I don*t remember much of. And I don*t want to remember it either. So I won*t write it down, haha (Why am I writing *THIS* down then?) ...

Once again, it needs to be said that I miss certain people -____-.

Maybe I will do some interpretations again today. But ... Okay. Let*s go~ .___.!

Music therapy :)

Maybe some of you guys know already that I once considered a career as a music therapist. However, because of various personal reasons, and because my enthusiasm vanished soon, I didn*t continue walking this path, and tried to concentrate on making music, composing, etc. It was best those days, since I was somewhat lost on the way.

However, the idea came back to me. This time, I think this would be a wonderful job for several reasons, and I really want to do an internship with a music therapist, a psychiatric unit, or something like this. I am not scared of those people because I have been in the situation myself; I don*t want to say "I know what they think", but I*d be willing to help them and give them something that will make them happy, that will cheer them up, or help them overcome fears ... But it*s not only that. I*d feel "useful", I*d feel like I am doing something good for others, and for myself.

There are things I am scared of, though. But all these have positive sites, too. It isn*t a job one can finish at a certain hour and then quit thinking about it. You have to make plans and think about ways to get "through" to others (at least that*s what I think), but it also means there will never be boredom. I am scared that people might not allow me to study music therapy because of my disease, but on the other hand, I am taking my medication, I am young (at least imho XD), I didn*t fall back into old behaviour ... I accept people the way they are, and I would never judge somebody just because of his or her mental disease. One cannot imagine how lovely people in such institutions can be. Same goes for old people, or people with handicaps. I am not scared of them ... Just of making mistakes.

However, I want to do this internship, and I already found some adresses of music therapists, etc. and I will have to ask this organization some questions :). Also, it seems like one can do a semester or so outside Germany, which would be great. ^o^ Oh yeah, and I am scared of the entrance examination ... But on the other hand, for example, I can play my emotions on the guitar. And I want to start taking guitar lessons again soon. AND I also think that the internship prepares you for the entrance examination :).

I am just wondering whether one can study it along with other subjects. It seems like this is not possible, but I will find ways how to continue studying other subjects after I got accepted.

I want to bring joy to other people*s lives. Not just because of my own selfishness. I know how much it helped me when I was able to play the guitar or sing or do something else musically when I felt so down. Ah well ...

At least it is an idea. I will ask my psychiatrist whether I am able to do this. I didn*t want to ask last time because I thought if the idea vanishes again, it wouldn*t be that nice ... But helping others, combined with music, and always learning new things, and making others happy ... This sounds like a dream job ^_^.

So let*s hope for the best.

Midwinternight*s dreams ...

I don*t know how those sequences were connected to each other, so my report might not cover the entire dream ... ANYWAYS :

In this dream I was in Japan. I think we saw a poster and some show on TV - both featuring Közi. As in, he was on the poster (it was a Közi poster ONLY), and he was on the TV show, too. We were invited by the owner of the poster I think, and one former friend of mine was there, too. She told the hosts that the meal wasn*t delicious and whatnot; I felt so ashamed (and I even thought there was no reason to say this, since the meal WAS good!). My mum* and Meian* were there as well, I think.
Then there was a sequence in which I talked to my mum* about Közi. She said he has got beautiful eyes (which he does!).
Then I don*t remember anything about it, but a friend of mine posted a comment on an LJ entry or something that I wrote, including pictures and some text, but it didn*t feature Közi at all. I was somewhat disappointed. Mh.
I also remember there were some guys about 12 or 13 years old, that attacked Meian*, and I ran up to them, fought them and yelled at them.
The next thing I remember is that we had a P. E. lesson with our former German/history teacher at this school. We had to do a hurdle race, and I was wearing a long skirt and had no clothes to change. However, I took out a DVD (or VHS) and watched it on TV ... It was the TV show I told you about earlier. Some of my classmates (I don*t remember who in particular) watched the show with Meian* and me. Our teacher was behind us all the time, and later I thought : "Ahh, you watched enough! Now go get the hurdles!!" So I went to fetch them. However, it weren*t normal hurdles; they were boxes. I guess one of my classmates whom I don*t remember as well was really angry with me, since she took three or four boxes at once, and left only one for me to carry.

And that was that. Oô

"Und was haben Sie davor gemacht?"

If I weren*t THAT lazy, I would rofl now. For real!!

Ahh, I love moments like these ;). Coming home and actually not being in a really good mood, and then finding this ... I only wonder right now whether this is true ... Sitting on the loo for two years?! Goth, I want to see those marks XD! (Or maybe I don*t?!)

Some dreams I had last night.

I don*t feel very well, due to the fact I had a strange dream. But one thing after another :

- Sequence #1 : Meian* asked me why Jesus was so famous. I explained to her everything I know, and she listened. Nothing thrilling happened here, except for the fact I was always searching for the right words to express what I thought.

- Sequence #2 : We were in a bus (AGAIN!). By "we", I mean Meian*, my mum*, and me. Meian* and I took the seat that is in the front, the first one, on the right. My mum*, however, decided to stand on the staircase that leads into the bus (in front of our seat). We talked about something I don*t remember, and we somehow knew that at one moment, the bus will have to drive down a very steep street. However, it didn*t happen this time ... The fact we "knew" about that is just that I remember so many dreams of mine inside a bus where this happened ... And I always was scared of this moment.

- Sequence #3 : I flirted with some guy who worked at a fast food restaurant or something like this. He also flirted back and whatnot, but then I felt sad because it came to my mind that I wasn*t alone.

BESIDES THOSE DREAMS, I have probably found the ideal career for me :D. I will maybe write more about this later, since I have to get going and go grocery shopping now. Do not want XD. Ah, but I have to ...

Part Of Individuality in Scorpio in the 9th house

This is for somebody who asked me for an interpretation of the above :). I hope I could help you with it.

At first, what makes you unique is the combination of the aura you create around yourself, and your deep spirituality, philosophy, or both. The Point Of Individuality in Scorpio suggests you appear somewhat mysterious to others, so that they might not know how to handle you. You might show interest in things like life and death, the occult, the paranormal, and so on. You also love traveling :D. You are open-minded, so people really have no reason to stay away from you. ^^

Have a nice day~!

Nicht um zu schockieren ...

I am kind of happy. My Part of Fascination (Aquarius in the 5th house) trines the sun of a person I am seriously fascinated by :D, and my Part of Individuality is in Aquarius in the 5th house, too. Even squares seem to play an important role; I remember my fascination for people born at the beginning of the sign Scorpio, for example. Or Taurus ... Or Leo (okay, opposition, but still ...). However, there hasn*t been any fascination for somebody else that grew as important as the current one ... Also, since it is in the 5th house, I guess it means that I am fascinated by artists, and by individualists, since it is in Aquarius. Just a guess :D. At least I can say most people that seriously fascinate me are artists, and very unique people.

The Part of Individuality ... Maybe the point that describes something like self-expression or so. Or what makes me unique?! Or ... maybe something like the "true self"?? Oô ANYWAYS, I can say so much : I have no planet in the 5th house, BUT I am a person who appreciates being creative, and who likes to make things - write songs, draw, paint, design clothes, write poems, ... I see art as some kind of expression of what is going on inside of me, but maybe also as a response to what happens "outside". As the 5th house deals with creativity, maybe this is the thing that makes me unique. I pay attention to whether a piece of art reminds of another one, because I don*t want to steal from other people ... Also, I am much of a person who doesn*t like people who are not being themselves. Or let*s put it positively : I like people who are being themselves :). (Aquarius?)

I would like to do some calculations for other people if I may ... Most likely those two parts, since I can compare the meanings to the ones I tried to describe above. AHEM. But only if you want to ... ;D

Just some short notes ...

- Part of Fascination : Maybe has some important role in synastry. However, it might also symbolize what fascinates someone in general ... (Everything creative & Originality in my case.)

- Part of Individuality : Not quite sure as to what it means ... =o= However, it might symbolize one*s individuality, one*s uniqueness. Maybe the question is : What makes you unique?

I am gone now. Need to get dressed for the appointment today ...

Wirst du mir vergeben, wenn ich dich anrege?

Good evening!

I am back from my first day at school this week. We got back our geography tests, and guess what my result was ... I couldn*t believe it myself *cause it was *rataplan* 13 points (A-). That*s 13 more than I expected *grin*. Okay, I didn*t think I*d get 0 points, but I also didn*t expect 13, so ... Mmmh.

I wonder, however, what subject I should choose as my 3rd subject (since I am doing English, German, and math in my final exams) ... Sociology? Geography? I don*t know. ;_-_; I wonder what I will get in P. E., too. I guess it won*t be that good. :( But I hope it will be better than 5 points (D). Or at least better than 4 ... As for the other subjects ... No problem so far.

However, I feel sorry for everybody who didn*t get grades that were as good as mine, which now sounds a bit arrogant, but actually, I wish I wouldn*t be THAT good. (I still sound arrogant ... Ah well. Cannot change this :P.) I know that I should continue working hard for my test, and maybe this time, I should start learning earlier ... Not on the last day, that is.

Or else, I wish everybody was this good. Everybody deserves a chance in my holy opinion, and since I know what some of those people want to do after they leave school, I of course hope they will reach their aims and such. REALLY.

Besides that, I have got an appointment tomorrow. With one of my doctors :). I need to write some e*mails, too. I just don*t feel at all like wanting to read those that need to be answered right now. Hm.

As for the interpretations ... I have been doing some research work on a certain Arabic Part, haha. Won*t tell you which one, since it is kind of embarrassing XD. I am just nosy and enthusiastic about Arabic Parts. :D As for some parts, I don*t even want to know them, but as for the rest ... It*s kind of interesting.

~ Rina

Do what you want ...

Hello everybody :D!

I didn*t do much today ... Except for eating da cake, man!! XDD Oh well. It was so tasty ... Plum cake ^o^.

Okay, what did I want to write about? I cannot stand the idea of a new week starting tomorrow. -_- However, I am strong, and I know I can do it ... Tschakka (or something XDD)!!

I will maybe post some tutorials in the near future :D. Such as, astrology and numerology related ... Probably even tarot. Just because I find it quite sad that there aren*t many tutorials about this on the intarwebz ;D.

Okay, now I am off to do something else *ahem* ... (Rina *hearts* Eurodance music! ^o^)

(And I guess I will write much more about my goal to lose weight this year ... Hooray for the confusingness!! I don*t care ...)

~ A pretty confused, but still true-to-herself version of Rina

Progressions and such.

Last night I dreamed something involving Közi, but I don*t remember much/anything (!) about it, so no dream interpretation now or anything ... Hm. What a pity ;D.

I wrote an entry in my LJ a few minutes ago, and it dealed with me not really wanting to start doing transit horoscopes and such, and now I find myself searching for hints as to what certain progression aspects mean. As in, aspects from my radix planets to the transit ones. Or whatever you call it (^^). See, my English should really get at least a little better *ahem*.

I also am interested in what the single Arabic Points mean. The entry I told you about is pretty long and deals with this subject. I don*t know whether I should copy it, but I feel like I want to know more about what the certain points mean in their signs and so on, but I cannot find any interpretations - except for the Part of Fortune. Meaning I might post a lot more about what I think it might mean in the certain signs and so on ... Maybe I should start today, but I don*t know ...

Moon has recently entered the 11th house of my natal chart ;). I guessed that it meant that friends play a certain important role right now. I am thinking a lot about friends of mine, not only in connection to my move, but also friends I sort of left behind. I don*t know whether it will get any "worse", but it*s sort of interesting to know this ...

... And I mean it!

This time I won*t stop writing the entry :). I send out greetings to everybody who stumbled over this place. ^^

I am happy, for I found the option to draw all aspect lines between two horoscopes with many different planets (as in, synastry). Now the asteroids made me sort of nosy for what it means when e. g. Ceres trines Ceres in another horoscope. Guess I will have to figure this out on my own, which isn*t that bad actually or something. I love astrology :D.

What sort of made me feel strange recently is that one couple I know/used to know sort of matched perfectly well with each other. There were hardly any aspects like oppositions or squares, and I guess many astrologers would say : "Ha! They are like made for each other!!" Well, dear, you are entirely wrong. I don*t want to say too much about it, but, believe me, they weren*t ... One of them was very brutal towards the other, and beat them up and whatnot. Because of this I have been asking myself whether a connection can be "too good", so that the "bad aspects" weigh too much in the end?? And I guess I really have to change my point of view towards those "bad aspects", as they can also mean challenges ... And maybe also what keeps couples together.

Fun fact : I read an interpretation of a partner horoscope for my ex-bf and myself, and it was pretty accurate. O__O Strange, isn*t it??

It is great to teach something like this to yourself, though. I hope I will find more info about the asteroids soon, though ;D. (And I finally found out why that aspect-interpretation didn*t include "Ceres trine Ceres"-aspects ... It was for individual horoscopes. As in, not partner ones ... And it took me about 24 hours to realize this!! Oô (So much for the quick-wittedness :P!))

Blogthings :)

Your Word is "Peace"

You see life as precious, and you wish everyone was safe, happy, and taken care of. Social justice, human rights, and peace for all nations are all important to you. While you can't stop war, you try to be as calm and compassionate as possible in your everyday life. You promote harmony and cooperation. You're always willing to meet someone a little more than halfway.

What's Your Word?

Ichi, ni, san, shi ...

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!

I forgot to tell you the result of my last math test. It was 13 points (A-). I don*t know how many points I already collected for my final exams, though. And since we had P. E. today, I hope I will get a good grade in P. E., too, even though I am not THAT good, but I have never missed a P. E. lesson. Goth, I am exhausted right now ... REALLY.

I need to send a small package tomorrow. And I am totally tired ...

What do you guys think of the song "Chou Super Happy" (SP?) by Psycho le Cému and this other guy / band / whatever (Yeah, I know much about him/them ...)? I absolutely love it. It always cheers me up :D. And isn*t it great that I can count a little in Japanese?! Ichi, ni, san, shi, go, roku, shichi, hachi, kyuu, juu ... Or something like this. Please correct me if I am totally wrong .___. ...

Chou~ happy, super happy!! (And I always understand "Sie kennen Aya; sie kennen dich!" at some point XDD ...)

*is tired* I will go to bed in a few minutes. There are just some things that need to be done beforehand ~__~ ...

Astrology :)

I have started studying astrology about 11 to 12 years ago. Actually it resulted in me getting more self-confidence, but also in me reflecting about what I am like, and what is true about the words I read in the natal chart interpretations that I made for myself. And this really is a good thing, since you hardly ever realize how great or stupid the things might be that you are doing.

I love working with astrology, even though I have been a little absent from practicing it recently. However, there are certain things I*d like to learn more about, such as TRAVELING, or MORE SYNASTRY, or TRANSIT HOROSCOPES ... And, of course, more about the single planets and especially asteroids :). Oh, and hypothetical (?) planets ^^.

So here are some placements of planets in my birthchart :D :

- Asc. in Virgo; MC in Gemini
- Sun in Taurus in 9th house
- Moon in Taurus in 9th house
- Mercury in Aries in 8th house
- Venus in Taurus in 8th house
- Mars in Scorpio in 3rd house
- Jupiter in Capricorn in 4th house
- Saturn in Scorpio in 3rd house
- Uranus in Sagittarius in 4th house
- Neptune in Capricorn in 4th house
- Pluto in Scorpio in 2nd house
- North Node in Gemini in 9th house
- Chiron in Gemini in 9th house
- Lilith in Pisces in 7th house
- Pars Fortunae (?) in Libra in 1st house
- Vertex in Aquarius in 6th house
- Ceres in Aries in 8th house
- Pallas in Pisces in 6th house
- Juno in Gemini in 10th house
- Vesta in Cancer in 10th house
- Pholus in Aries in 8th house

I guess I will write more about this later :). Need to get dressed now and everything *nods*.

"Gehabt euch wohl!!" :D

Come to me ...

Sternchen* is currently sitting on the bed right next to this pc :). Aaand I finally managed to find out how to add features to this blog, so that I can pimp it ;^^;. This is really important for me, hehe.

Besides this, school*s~ out~ for~ Thursday!! ^o^ I feel happy so far, only one more day to go ... I am scared of P. E. tomorrow; not because of the sports we have to do, but because of the fact we need to get out of there into the cold, cold winter night -___-. But there*s nothing we could do about it.

(And sometimes I must admit that certain songs just don*t fit to certain videos °-o-° ... But that*s maybe just my point of view.)

I must read more of "Effi Briest", and slowly, the book starts to get interesting ... ^^ So maybe I am lucky and it won*t bore the hell out of me. And fortunately only descriptions of people, meaning I don*t have to imagine much :D.

Also I wish I showed more talent for music. I sometimes get the feeling that some people have an easy understanding for this, and even though I have certain aspects both of my personality as well as in my natal chart, for example, that point towards creativity and so on, I often am not satisfied with what I am doing. Probably because of certain other aspects of my personality ... AHEM. But pull yourself together, Rina. Or something. XD

I drew something today again ... It is cute, but I don*t know whether I should show you :\ ... I will maybe get Meian* to scan that picture we drew yesterday, but as for the one I drew today ... It is supposed to be my lucky picture ^__^.

"Life goes on ... And on ... And on ..." If it weren*t this late now I would definitely practice playing the guitar ... But as it is late, and the neighbours would get furious, ... I will ... play the guitar now!! XDD Nah, unfortunately I am just kidding. *sigh*

*switches on "Innermost ..."*

I guess I am in love with this song. And I wish I could figure out the guitar notes. Even though I guess this wouldn*t be THAT hard work if I practiced more. Hey, at least I was able to play that stupid Lindenstraße theme last time. But I somehow managed to not write it down and now I am not sure whether I can play it anymore :D.

So, as the Germans would say now : "Gehabt euch wohl!", which isn*t used widely anymore, but I somehow like this way to say "bye" ^^. Sleep well, and sleep tight. Aaand have nice dreams!! And be a good boy / girl! ^____^

Nighty night!!

Death Of A Salesman ...

I just finished "Death Of A Salesman". I don*t want to spoil anybody right now, even though one thinks they can easily imagine what the book is about. Well, baby, you maybe are wrong.

The book deals with the story of the salesman Willy Loman, who is exhausted because of his work. As for others, he talks to himself, but as for him, he always sees scenes from his past or people that used to play an important role in his past, and starts talking to them, asking them questions, etc. Throughout the book I didn*t know who to pity most tbh. Mainly Willy of course, but also sometimes the people around him - his neighbour Charley, Charley*s son Bernard, or his wife Linda maybe? The situation gets worse and worse for him and his family actually. At least in my holy opinion.

All in all, I think it was worth the time I spent reading it. It*s a sad story, yes, and also something that might happen to everybody who works too much, or who is too determined to reach certain goals. I currently wonder whether I will end this way one day, but there is no necessity to talk about this right now.

Mmh. Besides that, I still have to finish "Effi Briest" ... I already read one page more in this book (YAY~!!), which isn*t much, I know. -o- But at least it isn*t as bad as in the beginning anymore.

Gekommen, um zu zeichnen.

Ohha! Today was the first day at school again. Meaning the christmas holidays are definitely over now ... In German lesson we got strange looks from our teacher because all of us had to admit they didn*t read much of "Effi Briest" during the holidays. Shame on us! Anyways, I am planning to read a lot of this book tomorrow, but I also have to finish "Death Of A Salesman". Okay, as for the latter, there are only 12 pages left or so ... That*s nothing ^^.

I currently really miss my friends from LJ over here. I wouldn*t even mind if they commented anonymously or something (but please~ write who you are!! I hate guessing games!!). But I cannot force anyone to. And I still DO have an LJ; it*s just ... I don*t see much of a future over there. Not because of the people I know there! They are all lovely really!! But because of the entire gossip about it and whatnot. It*s just really annoying.

Ah well, I will stay at LJ for quite some time. It*s just that I don*t feel like posting there much anymore. Might be that the move is the main reason for that; I don*t know.

Also, it is good to no longer hide anymore. And I hope that others will enjoy reading this :D. (Not like I am much of an entertainer, though, so don*t expect me to move (holy) mountains!!)

Now looking at the subject line reminds me of what I wanted to write in here : Meian* and I drew today ... I drew a duck (a cold one!!) as well as Uri Geller (a levitating one!!). Her part was a raven and somebody else whom we called Dieter (okay, actually it was supposed to represent somebody else, but I couldn*t remember his name in that very moment). In Chibi-version :D. I already love it so much~! (But I don*t know yet whether I should show you :P.)

Okay, I have got to leave now ... See you later!!

About me (& this blog :D).

Hello again.

Now that I am back on this page to update the blog itself, everyone should be going "YAY~" ^o~ ... So here we go :

SELF

Most people call me Rina, which I am very fine with. I am 24 years old now; my birthday is in May. I am a student most of my time, and by student I mean "student at an evening school". I will pass my final exams in 2010 if everything goes well :). I try to keep as open-minded as possible, and I am usually a person who loves people (even though I am kind of shy ^o^ ...). I also love animals a lot; I "have got" two cats actually. I don*t think one can really "have" an animal, since they are free creatures ... I love music a lot as you might have guessed :D. I love working on songs, and I am currently working on two different projects ^___^. I also like drawing, painting, writing, designing clothes, web design, and so on a lot. I wish I had more time to read actually ...

Blog

I would like to write about different aspects of my life, such as music (both the music I listen to as well as the music I compose myself), some reviews concerning music, movies, anime, music videos, books, whatever, and probably about paranormal things as well. Oh! And my dreams :D. What would I be without them?! ^^ And my daily life is another topic I would like to share ... I will make a list of the books I read and so on.

BTW, if you have any questions, you can always ask me ... *wink wink*

Okay, and now ... I am hungry ;^^;. So see you later!!

And the curtain rises.

Good morning! ^^

Since I am currently moving to this place, I thought I should write a first post here, but, honestly said, I cannot think of anything to write about right now Oô.

This is supposed to be something like a diary, reflecting my own thoughts. Some things might not be posted anymore, but let*s see what I can do for those who are thirsty for updates on certain topics, haha.

ANYWAYS, for more info, check my user info. There isn*t much written there yet, but this might change very, very, VERY soon. :)

So see you in the near future!! ^o^

Much love,
~ Khaos In Kinema